Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
