I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
