You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
