bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
