I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
