if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
