Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
