Your tits are I can't wait for
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
