The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
