I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
