K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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