All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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