Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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