Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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