Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
