another moral hangover. fuck.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
