she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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