The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
