You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
apparently the secret to your success is patron
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
