She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The power of my boobs compel you
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
