Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
