end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
