PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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