So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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