even my farts smell like vagina
Fuck appropriateness.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
