Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
