When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
