i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
