Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
