I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
