He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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