In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
