At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
