good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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