You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
