I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
