I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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