you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
