Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
