You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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