We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
