So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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