We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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