problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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