Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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