My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
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