I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
