I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
