I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
