She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
