He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
