Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
