I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Randomize
